When we first heard that Google had an Internet TV product in the works, we here at Pink Visual were so excited, we almost lost our collective permanent erection. (That’s how excitement works when you suffer from Persistent Techno-Corporate Priapism… don’t ask me — “ask your doctor.”)
We couldn’t wait to get started making our Google TV-optimized site PinkVisual.tv — until we received the documentation from Google that details how to go about creating sites optimized for Google TV. That experience was a little like finding out that Santa Claus was really just my dad dressed in a tight-fitting red leather corset and fake beard (OK, so Christmas at my house was a little non-standard, I guess), and that I could have kept all those cookie and milk treats for myself.
The full text of our letter can be read below, or you can click here for a scan of the actual hard copy we mailed off to Google Central.
To Whom It May Concern (Or At Least Vaguely Annoy):
Before I get started on my little rant here, just let me assure you of one thing: we here at Pink Visual loves us some Google. We are enamored of virtually everything that Google has created – and although we envy it more than love it, we do find it amazing that your brand name has become synonymous with the act of finding information online. Kudos on that achievement!
Unfortunately, this letter isn’t about love; it is about aggravation – Google TV-related aggravation, specifically.
When we set out to build our Google TV-optimized site PinkVisual.tv, we anticipated a smooth development process, one that was reflective of the sort of detail-oriented, precision thinking that we have come to expect from Google. As it turns out, what we experienced was anything but ‘smooth.’
While we like surprises as much as the next porn-slinging company, the surprise awaiting developers optimizing websites for Google TV is more akin to a “your test came back positive for chlamydia” manner of surprise than it is a “you’ve won the Publishers Clearinghouse sweepstakes” surprise.
OK, so that’s a little harsh… but so is the fact that your development guidelines state that all web pages have to be navigable using only the d-pad, but you don’t include any support for that functionality! This makes it necessary for us developers to write our own Javascript, since there appears to be no good ‘generic’ solution available. Thanks for that!
Speaking of surprises, how shocked were we to learn that the GoogleTV software requires the device to reboot in order to change resolutions from 720p to 1080p, and vice versa? As a result, we had the not-at-all-aggravating experience of rebooting every time we wanted to test something we had developed for the site to ensure that it looked good at both resolutions. Oh well, I suppose you can legitimately claim this feature is “unprecedented,” because so far as I’m aware, Google TV has the distinction of being the only web-capable device that requires a complete reboot just to change the display resolution.
In another first, Google TV is the first product to manage to make tabbed browsing a confusing mess. True, there’s a clearly labeled button that opens the ‘tabs’ menu, and it does allow one to create a tab, close a tab and view tab history… but it doesn’t allow you to switch between tabs. The only way to do that is by hitting ctrl+Tab, and there is no indication of that fact provided when one creates a new tab. Of course, all this is only relevant if one or more of the tabs you’ve opened has not magically disappeared altogether – something that occurs with disquieting regularity when using Google TV’s tabbed browsing.
These nagging technical issues aside, from our perspective as porn purveyors the biggest problem with Google TV is that you appear to have overestimated a great number of your prospective consumers of the product. How so? For starters, you have placed the means for accessing the Internet in a sub-folder marked “Applications.” This suggests that you are relying on the customer already knowing that Chrome is a web browser, and counting on them to realize that they should look for that browser in an applications sub-menu…? I’m not so sure that’s a safe pair of assumptions there, mon frère.
Presumably, Google TV is aimed at least in part at people who love TV, and who watch quite a bit of it, right? Well, the average heavy consumer of televised content is liable to think that an “Application” is either (a) something that you submit prior to a job interview (which only happens once your unemployment benefits have run out), or (b) something that their kids have on “them dang fancy phones of theirs.” Accordingly, perhaps a more appropriate place for the function would be the home screen, and a more appropriate rendering of the link it would be a bright red button that says “Click For Internets.”
Look, I realize that it probably seems ridiculous (and possibly beyond egotistical) on my part to think that Google needs pointers of any kind from a porn company …. but that only makes it worse that in this case you might actually NEED some advice from a porn company. We have years of experience dealing with consumers that are largely thinking with their other head and not so observant on technical function of the device they are using, if you take my drift. And just in general, you might want to consider dumbing this shit down a bit.
Please take this critique in the spirit it is offered: a gentle kick to your developmental posterior from an ardent admirer of all things Google. I look forward to seeing Google roll up its collective sleeves and plunge back into the lab, where I am confident you will turn Google TV into the kickass, Apple-beating, world-changing product we all know it can be.
Quasi-Sincerely,
Jack Dowland
Chief Technical Officer, Pink Visual
PS: Please, for the love of God, if you take nothing else from this letter…. move that frickin Chrome link out onto the main menu!!!
flickr
|
Wait, I coannt fathom it being so straightforward.
[...] that is the end of this article. Here you’ll find some sites that we think you’ll appreciate, just click the links over[...]…
If you’re still on the fence: grab your favorite earphones, head down to a Best Buy and ask to plug them into a Zune then an iPod and see which one sounds better to you, and which interface makes you smile more. Then you’ll know which is right for you.
this baby is a? jerk
One thing I want to say is the fact that before purchasing more computer system memory, consider the machine within which it could be installed. In the event the machine is running Windows XP, for instance, a memory threshold is 3.25GB. Setting up a lot more than this would just constitute a waste. Make sure that one’s mother board can handle the upgrade volume, as well. Good blog post.
This is very interesting, You are a very skilled blogger. I have joined your feed and look forward to seeking more of your wonderful post. Also, I have shared your website in my social networks!
Finally ! This writer hit the nail on the head. Great insight !
hey there and thank you for your info – I’ve definitely picked up something new from right here. I did however expertise some technical issues using this website, since I experienced to reload the web site lots of times previous to I could get it to load correctly. I had been wondering if your web hosting is OK? Not that I’m complaining, but slow loading instances times will very frequently affect your placement in google and can damage your high quality score if ads and marketing with Adwords. Anyway I’m adding this RSS to my email and can look out for a lot more of your respective fascinating content. Make sure you update this again very soon..
The instant Mitt entered clinic, the very state have been relinquishing income generating activities .
Romney trimmed bureaucracy in business owners, settled down into litigation job-creating incentives, as well as fought challenging add online companies of the state.
Browsing delicious.com I noticed your web site bookmarked as: Pink Visual’s open letter to Google re: GoogleTV- Pink Visual. I am assuming you bookmarked it yourself and wanted to ask if social book-marking gets you a bunch of site visitors? I’ve been thinking of doing some book-marking for a few of my websites but wasn’t sure if it would produce any positive results. Many thanks.